Taliban to Protect Department of Homeland Security
News Item: A British Company has been providing security at the Headquarters of the Department of Homeland "Security".
So, we have a Department of Homeland (Der Fadderland) Security which is supposed to protect us all from foreign attacks. The way they usually do this is by pointing to the correct color on the terror alert color chart. I think we are now in condition pink.
You would think that the Department of Homeland Security might just be competant enough to supply ..uh..security...for their own headquarters. Evidently , they are not. So, they have hired the British to do so.
I seem to recall that about 200 years ago or so we threw out the British because we wanted to supply our own homeland security. Now they are back. With pay. And by all news accounts doing a real crappy job for a real lot of money.
So, here is my solution. The Taliban are still around and control much of Afghanistan, especially near the Pakistan border where Osama used to live (wink, wink) before we forced him out.
Now, these guys know homeland security. They waited out the Russians and got rid of them. They are waiting out the Americans now and will someday return to power.
In the meantime, these bearded security guards are unemployed. And unemployment compensation in Afghanistan runs to about 2 cents per day. Let's hire these talented, trained personnel to provide Homeland Security to the Department of Homeland Security. They could not possibly do a worse job than the British. As a bonus, they are foreigners, too. (That seems to be a prerequisite for providing homeland and port security).
The Talibani are easy to recognize because of their long beards and classy turbans, so there would be no doubt about who the security guards are. We would not have to spring for fancy uniforms.
Best of all, praise Allah, they work cheap. Give 'em a buck fifty a day and they would be in seventh heaven. Plus, no union or labor problems to deal with.
Since we are now "outsourcing" everything, even our national security, at least we should do it economically.
So, we have a Department of Homeland (Der Fadderland) Security which is supposed to protect us all from foreign attacks. The way they usually do this is by pointing to the correct color on the terror alert color chart. I think we are now in condition pink.
You would think that the Department of Homeland Security might just be competant enough to supply ..uh..security...for their own headquarters. Evidently , they are not. So, they have hired the British to do so.
I seem to recall that about 200 years ago or so we threw out the British because we wanted to supply our own homeland security. Now they are back. With pay. And by all news accounts doing a real crappy job for a real lot of money.
So, here is my solution. The Taliban are still around and control much of Afghanistan, especially near the Pakistan border where Osama used to live (wink, wink) before we forced him out.
Now, these guys know homeland security. They waited out the Russians and got rid of them. They are waiting out the Americans now and will someday return to power.
In the meantime, these bearded security guards are unemployed. And unemployment compensation in Afghanistan runs to about 2 cents per day. Let's hire these talented, trained personnel to provide Homeland Security to the Department of Homeland Security. They could not possibly do a worse job than the British. As a bonus, they are foreigners, too. (That seems to be a prerequisite for providing homeland and port security).
The Talibani are easy to recognize because of their long beards and classy turbans, so there would be no doubt about who the security guards are. We would not have to spring for fancy uniforms.
Best of all, praise Allah, they work cheap. Give 'em a buck fifty a day and they would be in seventh heaven. Plus, no union or labor problems to deal with.
Since we are now "outsourcing" everything, even our national security, at least we should do it economically.
posted by Joe | 6:44 PM
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